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Saturday, February 11, 2006
(I think this is a timely post since hearts day is fast approaching. I’ve been alone for the past three years, how bout this year will I have somebody by my side already? as I’m writing this post, im waiting for a message comin’ from her…)
last night I was having a serious conversation with the diane and she asked me; “why me?”. She was asking why out of all the girls in the world or in the office to be precise; why is it her that I chose to love. That time all I could tell her was; “that’s a very interesting question; why does it have to be you?”
nobody falls in love overnight and never did I believe in love at first sight. Attraction, yes but love at first sight, I don’t think so, I just believe that’s just a famous cliché. Something that a lot of people would like to believe in, but not me, it ain’t my style. Then how come I could say that I already love her? I do believe that you fall in love with a person gradually, you fall in love with somebody as you know her more which is what is happenin’ to me.
I admit, its more over two months that we’ve known each other but a lot of stuff has happened already. its given that we barely know each other but as each day passes by somehow little by little we get to know more about each other. I just hope that somehow she’s also getting to know the real me, that there’s more as to what her eye can see, that im somebody who’s sincere in everything that I do. someone who’s sincere in loving her in my own special way.
Goin’ back to the question as to why I love her, the answer would be its what I feel, I mean there’s no specific reason ‘coz if there is, once you take that reason away then you fall out of love, which is a part of life but I do believe in cherishing what you have now and just worry about tomorrow later. I think love is immeasurable, its not quantitative, it’s the quality of love that you provide.
I could enumerate all the wonderful qualities that diane possesses but its still not enough. I love her not simply because of what she is as a person but I love her as well as to how she made my life turnaround. As you all know I’ve been losin’ my motivation, its like I was inspired before as what I thought but then again, its not. I had a wrong intuition but this time im definite that she has given my motivation back, which this time I could really say that im truly inspired. Not only she gave my energy back to work but she had inspired me back to draw. Nobody has ever did that before to me ‘xcept her. Which I am truly thankful for and im plannin’ to repay her the only way I know how, by loving her truly and sincere.
This aint just sweet talk, whenever I say these words you could very much tell that im sayin’ the truth. Just pardon my grammar but all of which are true, this is how real as I can get, this stuff is purely impromptu, its like that words came out of my heart, processed by mind and then typed by me hands into the keyboard and then uploaded into this blog.
As I end this post she still hasn’t messaged me, which makes me worry, I don’t know what tomorrow brings but I just hope that somehow it’ll all be better for me. I’ve been prayin’ that god would grant my prayer this time, its not that im in hurry but its already getting tirin’ having always to be the one sufferin’ in pain. I’m believing that after what I’ve already been through, I’ve been downed a number of times already and a lot of people who knows me knew that, if I’ve always been down I guess the only room left for me is to go up. I just hope that this time I didn’t just have a glimpse of heaven and then in the end it would be taken away from me once again…lord, please don’t….
I sent an S.O.S tonight
