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Saturday, February 11, 2006
this is a nice way to start the year, another one of my so called emo-posts…
a good friend of mine, Honey made a comment to this blog recently. I think it was with regards to my repost: “why does it always happen to me”. She mentioned about me having found my heart and I guess she’s right, this time I really believe that I did.
As what you all know I’ve fallen and got hurt numerous times already. everything seems to be some sort of déjà vu. Its like I’ve always found myself in the same situation as what I was in before reason why the story always end up with me on pain’s receiving end. I’ve been downed a number of times and I’m already askin’ when will the hurtin’ stop? Im only wishin for happiness and I guess this time I think, feel and hope that this could be really the one that I’m waitin’ and lookin’ for…I don’t know but that’s what I really feel…never felt this happiness before only ‘till now…
Just recently I’ve somebody special; she’s the type that I never expect I’d meet, seriously. She’s like the girl of my dreams personified, you know the type that you prayed for every night that to hopefully meet someday. I couldn’t find the right words to express but its like finally finding your true love or something similar to that effect. Arrgghhh! There are times that I’m really not good with words. The moment I saw her I was immediately attracted, I mean she’s really pretty, as in (even if she claims that she isn’t, its ok though ‘coz for her I’d even change my perception of what beauty is). Though before I’ve just contented myself in looking at her from afar or even simply glance at her when she passes by. My friends have already met her before me and I was like how come you already know her and I don’t? When I was given the opportunity to talk to her I was even humiliated by a friend, damn! It even took me a long time to ask for her number. Its like even when we already knew the existence of each other I was mute, whenever she’s around all I can do was smile and say hi! I couldn’t do anything’ else, my friends were even my voice…’guess I do have a history of sucking big time!
I don’t know why, when or how but when I finally had enough courage to talk/text to her we just suddenly clicked! It feels like we’ve known each other ever since. Everythin’ happened by so fast. Its like from total strangers we became the closest of friends. Man, if you could only know how much happy and thankful I am right now. Its like everythin’ falls into place, its like everythin feels just so right whenever she’s around. Somehow you’d already get an idea ‘bout what I’m talkin’ ‘bout.
But she’s just not just a pretty face, she possesses qualities that as a whole makes her a wonderful person inside and out. She has qualities that would make any guy fall and in my case I’ve already fallen so deeply. She’s nice, sweet, responsible, hardworking, dedicated, funny, cheerful and so on…its like what’s there not to love…I know we’ve barely known each other but as I know her more, the more that I fall…
For the past 21 years that I’ve lived in this earth it’s the first time I’ve ever felt this way. The feelin’s different this time, its like its more intense right now. I know I’ve already mentioned in my previous posts that I was willin’ to take the risk but I guess I have never really did only up until now. Another good friend of mine and one of the people who knew me best (which happens to be my one and only ex) even calls me choosy when it comes to girls, even idealistic when it comes to things, certain in almost everything but I guess this time I’m gonna throw away those conceptions that I’ve had before. This time I’m willin’ to take a journey into the unknown, I don’t know where this road leads to but I’m still willin’ to push thru, its like this time I’d never miss this one chance to be happy with somebody that I really love. I guess I’ve really found my heart this time…
Before, I’ve never mentioned the name of the person that I talk about in my posts. It’s not that I’m afraid or shy to mention their names, I don’t know but I just feel writin’ about them in that way. Its not that I’m comparin’ them with one another but this time it’s really different, this time I’m willin’ to tell the name of the one that I love. I guess this is really the start of somethin’ different for me, hopefully a brand new start as well…
Diane, you know how much I’m happy with what we are and what we have right now but I would admit that there’s that part of me that wishes and pray that we could be more than what we are now but don’t worry I’m very much willing to wait. It’s enough for me that we have this special kind of relationship and I’m happy that you know how much I love you…
I sent an S.O.S tonight
