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Thursday, August 25, 2005
*notice: this a lengthy post for this narrates the memories of my birthdays from my yesteryears...if you have time please read on…thanks…
this day marks the 21st year of my existence in this world. Somehow I cant believe that 21 years have already passed and here I am still alive, kickin’ and writing this post.
Lookin’ back at all those years I can tell that nothing much has changed. Im still see myself the same way I see it before. Im still the same old luiboi that some people have grown to love. the only difference in me now is that for one, I’m older, a little more responsible, mature and undeniably good-lookin’. Hehe. Im just playin’ with you guys.
By the way, speaking of good looks, im once again sporting the classical mohawk haircut (hope I could upload a picture this coming days).
Anyways, going back to the reason for this post, this year my celebration (if I could even call it such) has been like what it was the years before, ordinary. There are only a number of my birthdays which are a little bit special that I could remember of. First would have to be my 7th birthday, its obvious though why this is unforgettable, it’s a given fact in our culture that every kid celebrates his birthday with a feast during this year (I just don’t know as to what are the reasons why). As far as I can remember our compound back in cavite with lots and I mean lots of people. I think all of my relatives (even to the farthest degree) were there. The reason why this is memorable is because that’s probably my first and last birthday wherein I received a lot of gifts. I even felt bad when people give me money because how could I enjoy it? I’m just 7 years old back then. I was really into toys back then specifically action figures like T.M.N.T, g.i.joe, ghostbusters, thundercats and the likes…
After that year, everything seems to be monotonous, year after year, a simple celebration would be enough, which im not against of. I’m really thankful that I was born to family that has provided me the things I need and more. Im just saying that its like it has become a habit because after that year I can’t seem to remember any significant birthdays ‘xcept for the birthdays that I haven’t told you ‘bout yet.
I was also happy when my birthday falls on a school day because my classmates would sing for me and its like you’re a star for a day. Everybody greets you and is nice to you. Also, what’s nice about that is that some of my crushes would greet me which makes me really and I mean really glad.
I could say that may be the most memorable birthday that I ever had so far was back in first year college. That was the year I celebrated my birthday with my first and only girlfriend (so far…). I celebrated it with her at our house and I introduced her to my family. It was simple but special but that’s not only what makes it memorable. I got a call from my high school buddy, Prime, a call that I thought was a simple greeting but ending up as a surprise. He was already calling me just outside of our house with his girlfriend and they decided to give a visit. All the while I thought it was just the two of them but as I went out, I saw them with the girl I had previously courted before I ended up with my girlfriend. I was like…f**k, what am I gonna do? My girlfriend’s inside and there I was standing with the girl that almost became my girl. I told my buddy that I was really surprised, very much surprised! I wouldn’t be in a frenzy if my girlfriend hadn’t known my past with this girl but she does. To make the long story short, I didn’t get to enjoy that night, I was literally caught in the middle. My buddy was spendin’ time with his girl and my girl was good enough even to talk to the girl that almost became my girl instead of her. I was trying my very best to be casual about the situation but I was really uneasy the whole night.
But the story didn’t end there. Next day when I taught everything was already over but I was wrong. When I got home from school I got a call once again, this time its not from my buddy but from the girl herself. I was asking what was the reason for the call and she’s telling me if I could go outside cause she was already there waiting. I even had the nerve to ask her why and she told me that its bout her book. I was like; “what book?” she told me that she left it last night and then my sister who is hearing our conversation handed me a book and I was like; “f**k!”. I hurriedly hung up the phone, grab the book and went outside to meet her. I handed her the book and the same time asking; “would there be anything else?” she asked for a glass of water and off I went grab a pitcher and a glass of water. She drank the water then asked; “can I go inside?” (peeps, I’m not making up this story, believe me…)
Guess, what I’ve said…I’ve said; “um, can we just stay here instead cause the house is a mess…”…damn! How ungentlemanly can I get? F**k! my hormones were goin’ haywire that time reason why I opted to stay outside to avoid sin and waste a very good opportunity to you know…well, forgive me I was young then ok…a lot has changed since then but again goin’ back to the story… she wanted to go inside to talk about serious matters she said. I said what can we talk about inside that we cant about here outside. May be she gave up because she can tell that I was firm about my decision that we won’t go inside and so the conversation began with her askin’…
“are you happy?” I was like; “of course, why wouldn’t i?i just celebrated my birthday last night…” she gave me a blank face telling; “not that stupid. I know you know what I am talking ‘bout.” I answered back innocently saying; ‘uh, if its not that then what ‘bout? I really have no idea…” once again, she gave in to my answer and slowly and shyly asked me back; “are you happy with her? Can we bring back the way things used to be?”
then it hit me. This girl still has feelings for me and then it happened. I broke a young lady’s heart. (*guys, if you could just see her she’s not one ordinary girl, she was a hottie, you know the type we guys go crazy for) I slowly answered; “yes. I’m very much happy with what I have right now. Can we just be normal friends?” F**k! I feel guilty ‘bout what I did ‘coz this girl and I really had something good goin’ on before I met my girl…nothin’s wrong with her its just that I felt that we wouldn’t click coz I cant ride the lifestyle that she has…she was like a party girl (not the negative type though) and I was the geeky, homeboy next door…may be all I wanted was a simple life.
I admit, I was wrong for not giving her the chance and see what things could have been. I didn’t give us a chance because I’ve met a girl that has all the qualities that I am lookin’ for. When my friends heard this story they were all like; “man, are you dumb, stupid or gay? “ my friends knew this girl reason why they we’re all like feeling sorry for me and some ridiculing me to some extent. But I never did regret that decision ‘coz I know that from that moment I knew that I was loyal, that I never did cheat on my girl. As you all know that relationship lasted for two long years…
But not all birthdays we’re good ones. There were years, two years to be exact that I was down, heart broken and lonely during my birthday. The first one would have to be during third year high. I was courting a girl a year ahead of me. We almost became a couple. We we were like seeing each other after class, writing letters and stuff, you know the mushy things that young kids do. I thought that she feels the same way that I do but I was wrong, I was so wrong! She gave me a promise that she’d give a surprise on my birthday but guess what? On my birthday she hid away for me. Even the week after my birthday, I searched for her but her friends keep telling me that she’s not around.
One day, eventually she was no longer able to hide from me. I confronted her and asked her what the problem is. Finally, se had the guts after a week to tell me the painful truth…that she already has a boyfriend….wow! This girl has just let me in for a ride. She told me the crap that she just saw me as a baby brother or somewhat. That she was sorry and all but at the end of it all she just made a fool out of me. She indeed gave a surprise, a painful one…
Just last year was another lonely birthday for me. My family was celebrating in the province and I was left alone here in the city by my lonesome ‘coz I was still doin’ my thesis then. We had scheduled to have an interview with our thesis respondents. Our group mates and I came but guess what? They didn’t. I think we waited for like 2 hours or so but no one showed up. Obviously, we’re all disappointed and pissed off. As for me, I spent my birthday alone, no one to celebrate with and eating instant noodles. Guess it only means that even if its your birthday you’re not spared from loneliness.
This year, I’ve not spent my birthday alone but still it was a little disappointing ‘coz I had a shift that day and I had to work. Work was pretty stressful that day. Good thing something wonderful also happened to me that day, the girl who loves butterflies and cigars prepared me a homemade breakfast, which has really made me glad. No one has ever done it yet to me. the food was really delicious but I held back some of my happiness ‘coz I know that she’s only doin’ that because we’re good friends and I know that her surprise doesn’t mean anythin’ ‘xcept for the only reason that we’re good reason.
After shift, I went home to have a simple celebration with my family. It was a relaxing feeling ‘coz its been like 2 months since I last went home be with my family ‘coz I had shift during weekends. I played and hang-out with my cousins something that I really had missed to do. wish I could bring back the days when I was still a student, a time wherein there was a lot of time for everythin’. My life now is pretty much boring which only revolves around work and home. Everyday is like a routine.
Ending up this 3 page length post I’d like to thank family, my friends and all the people who greeted me. I know my birthday has passed already days ago but its just now that I was able to upload this post but nonetheless I’d like to thank you for spendin’ the time out to read my ultra-lenghty post. Simply finishing reading this blog has already been a nice birthday gift for me. Guess, this could pretty much make up for the days that I wasn’t able to post something on this blog.
Good day! Y’all take care….
*im almost done with my artwork that I’ll be adding to the template of this blog. Thanks to my cousin drib’s photoshop tutorials I now know how to color my artwork on adobe photoshop (take note: I only know how to but I’m still not great at it). If you have time you could visit his deviant page at http://momopi.deviantart.com
I sent an S.O.S tonight
