"Pretend it's not for never,
I'll pull myself together
I'll say that I'll forget her,
I'll breathe.
And I'll say she never hurt me,
And look at it as learning,
And laugh about the good and the bad.
Because I won't live forever
We don't belong together,
I know I'll be all better,
One day when I can make it through..."
"discovering waterfront"(silverstein)
all about me ;exits ;yours truly ;
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Tuesday, July 12, 2005
In my life I’ve been blinded by the feeling that we called love a countless of times already. As young as I may be, I’ve been quite a lot through already. From my early days of getting rejected by a number of girls, breaking up with my girlfriend, falling in love with somebody new and breaking up my heart once again. I admit, I’m a sucker when it comes to these things.
As I continue on with life I thought another chapter has begun. I thought that a door has opened for my heart once again. I thought I have already found her. A person that I’ve been waiting for all this time, I’ve never thought that I’d finally meet her.
A person who’s obviously a head-turner, gorgeous, beautiful, a girl-of-your-dreams type of girl, and her physical appearance has already captivated from the very beginning. But I’m not a person who only goes by the looks; I’m also looking for a person who has substance, a person who has brains that I could converse with. Incidentally this person also has that quality and more. She’s also nice, funny, out-going and loves butterflies and colorful things.
As days pass by, we got closer. Surprisingly, I also found out that we’re even neighbor’s reason why we go home together. We spend hours together at work, eat together during breaks, accompany her when she smokes and tell stories as we go home. It seems like everyday seems to be perfect. There’s something that I’m looking forward to everyday at work.
In a short span of time, she has already taken me. Suddenly she became my inspiration, my driving motivation. Everything seems to be perfect but once again, I over-looked something so important, she already has a boyfriend. Though, their relationship is still new which caused me to hope that somewhere along the line she’d see something in me that would make her fall.
In my silence I’ve loved her because I know it’s wrong to be vocal about my feelings towards right her because she’s already committed. The days went on and things turn from good to worse. I don’t know what I did wrong but she suddenly changed. From the warm, sweet feelings everything turned cold. It all happened one day which caught me off guard. The person I’ve fallen for has suddenly changed before my very eyes. I was suddenly ignored and put into the back seat. Actually, that’s just fine with me; the only thing that I don’t get is that I don’t have a single idea why? She seldom spends time with me and when we go home fewer stories are bein’ told. A deafening silence is all that can be heard.
As they say, all good things must come to an end and that was the end for me. Something that has started beautifully has ended abruptly without any reason why. Well, for one may be she has realized that its wrong for things to be that way because she already got a guy. But then again, I really don’t have any clue as to what could be the real reason. I admit I lack the courage why things turned out that way. I never asked because I don’t have the right to. We aren’t and haven’t been committed reason why she has no obligations to tell me the reasons why. I just wished that she could have been more straightforward. All I know is that I have to wake up from this dream because the lady who loves butterflies and cigars could and would never be mine…
I sent an S.O.S tonight
luiboi 411
22 year old.emo kid.comic book geek.frustrated rockstar.single and searching.
