"Pretend it's not for never,
I'll pull myself together
I'll say that I'll forget her,
I'll breathe.
And I'll say she never hurt me,
And look at it as learning,
And laugh about the good and the bad.
Because I won't live forever
We don't belong together,
I know I'll be all better,
One day when I can make it through..."
"discovering waterfront"(silverstein)
all about me ;exits ;yours truly ;
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Monday, March 14, 2005
i've said it.i already told this certain girl that i'm talking 'bout on my previous post that i love her.of course,her initial reaction was that she's surprised because why all of a sudden i became like this,acted strangely towards her and do things i don't normally do?.we've known each other for four years already and then just suddenly i woke up one day loving her.who woulnd't be surprised,right?i don't know if its just me or may be its just like that...love comes when you're least prepared.i admit that even if i've known her for so long it's really just now that i realize that i love her.
during the years those years that i've known her (when she's still free) i had all the oppurtunity to love her more than a friend,to love her in a special way,to love her as her and to love her unlike any other people in my life.but problem is,i didn't,i suck big time!sometimes i hate myself for being like this,for being stupid when it comes to these things.arrghhh!sometimes it really sucks to be me!i really feel bad about myself because even if i told her that i love her,its already too late.she's already commited.now,you see why it sucks to be me...
i'm really having a hard time right now because she told me that she also loves me as me,not as friend but also not like a boyfriend,she simply loves me as me.im still quite confused 'bout what she told me but im also happy to know that she loves me,that this love is not unrequited.may be im confused because its my first time to be caught up in a situation like this.i've always been "mr. sure-ball" or "mr.certain", i usually don't easily get into something that i'm not sure of.in other words, im afraid to take risks but she isn't it.i'm mr.sure and she's ms.risky,what a nice combination right?
i guess, i simply have to rely on my heart this time 'round.if i use my mind in this case i feel like stopping right away but i don't want to coz im happy.in the long run i may regret having this decision but who knows in the end i'd eventually end up with her happily.something i would no longer see if i give up right now but then again if i fail at least nobody got hurt and no one else is to blame except me.
i may be confused and somehow brave enough to take risks this time but still there're two things that i'm 100% sure of...
im happy. i love her.
I sent an S.O.S tonight
luiboi 411
22 year old.emo kid.comic book geek.frustrated rockstar.single and searching.
