luified:the luiboi experience

"Pretend it's not for never, I'll pull myself together I'll say that I'll forget her, I'll breathe. And I'll say she never hurt me, And look at it as learning, And laugh about the good and the bad. Because I won't live forever We don't belong together, I know I'll be all better, One day when I can make it through..."

"discovering waterfront"(silverstein)

Thursday, March 17, 2005

you might always see smiling these days but is there something that i should really be happy 'bout?yes,there is.undoubtedly and without a shadow of a doubt i'm in love but the moment i think of situation that im in right now my smile begins to faaadddddeeeeee.....im obviously deceiving myself with these smiles but im admit that im really in pain,a pain that im still trying to bear.im starting to live in my own created dream coz thats the only place where i could be happy...for now.i know i'll overcome this pain eventually.God only knows when.

im beginning to doubt myself these days coz why does it always happen to me?back in the day i've faced too many rejections and eventually i got used to it.now,im not being rejected its just that my love has always been unrequited.am i that hard to love?or is it just that its not the right one for me?but how will i know if its not the right one?people say that there would come someone better, that there's someone more deserving of my love, that i don't deserve this pain.i just dont simply get it.im confused because people are saying this to me everytime im in pain but what if its not what i feel.even if im in pain i still love these things that i do,that the person im giving my love to is worthy of such love and i deserve this pain because i choose to be this way.

I sent an S.O.S tonight