"Pretend it's not for never,
I'll pull myself together
I'll say that I'll forget her,
I'll breathe.
And I'll say she never hurt me,
And look at it as learning,
And laugh about the good and the bad.
Because I won't live forever
We don't belong together,
I know I'll be all better,
One day when I can make it through..."
"discovering waterfront"(silverstein)
all about me ;exits ;yours truly ;
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Thursday, March 17, 2005
its clear to me that the battle's already lost,that victory is as good as vanished,that there is no hope in sight, that im already good as defeated.in a basketball game,its already the 4th quarter and goin' into the last two minutes and the opponent has a 50 point lead against me.in a boxing fight,i may already be knocked down already but the bell hasn't rung yet.im not yet down for the 10 count, i could still stand up continue the fight and may be, just may be, turn the tides around or i could end up falling down the mat even harder.it just shows how impossible this fight is.
im going to this fight blinded and just relying on my heart that its the right thing to do.i'm no longer entertaining thoughts that are in mind, im just following my heart.im goin' to the battlefield head-on with my heart and not with my mind.in other words,im risking it all this time!im goin' to break out of my own personal conventions and risk it all.im already living in regret but i no longer want to regret more.i don't want to continue living with...what if?
my friends told me that this may be not a good decision but they told that if that's what i feel then go!that i should fight for what i believe in, that i should fight for what i feel!if nothing happens then i guess that's it.i could no longer force anything,just like what i've said im no miracle worker but im really hoping,praying and dying for one.i may lose this battle badly but at least i tried.if anyone is to get hurt and to be blamed you could point your fingers at nobody else except...me.
i'd end this post with a few lines from good charlotte's "the truth";
I know that this will break me I know that this might make me cry You've gotta say what's on your mind On your mind I know that this will hurt me And break my heart and soul inside
and hoobastank's "crawling in the dark"
I will dedicate and sacrifice my every--thing for just a seconds worth of how my story's ending I wish I could know if the directions that I take and all the choices that I make won't end up all for nothing
Show me what it's for Make me understand it I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer Is there something more than what I've been handed? I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Help me carry on Assure me it's ok to use my heart and not my eyes to navigate the darkness Will the ending be ever coming suddenly? Will I ever get to see the ending to my story?
Show me what it's for Make me understand it I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer Is there something more than what I've been handed? I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
So when and how will I know?
How much further do I have to go? How much longer until I finally know? (finally know) 'cause I am looking and I just can't see what's in front of me in front of me
Show me what it's for Make me understand it I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer Is there something more than what I've been handed? I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
I sent an S.O.S tonight
luiboi 411
22 year old.emo kid.comic book geek.frustrated rockstar.single and searching.
