luified:the luiboi experience

Monday, June 07, 2004

here are some break-up songs coz this post is about my breaking up.

let me be the one to break it up... let me be the one/jimmy bondoc

girl,i know we had some good times.except for now,gotta say goodbye.girl u know i love i can`t deny.cant say we didn't try to make it work for u and i.i know it hurts so much,but it's the best for us.somewhere along this love,we lost the touch.so i walk away...seperated/usher

today marks my 1st day of school.nothing much happened though.only one professor showed up for today.it was my 1st class(its around 11 am),General Ethics was my subject and i was put to test immediately.man,talk about being unprepared.good thing my professor wasnt a terror if he was then id be in trouble coz i wasnt able to answer some of the questions he gave me.it was questions regarding philosophy;about the search of meaning and everything.he says that some people attaches "meaning" to a person,someone like your significant other,a girlfriend,a wife or someone very dear to you.

first he asked me:what if you lose your girlfriend?
i answered him: ok lang.

i know a lot of you after reading this would have a negative impression 'bout me.you might think that im not someone good enough to have as a boyfriend.that i may take everything for granted.i admit sometimes i do.but sometimes is very different from everytime.as of the moment,im very much single and somehow enjoying it.the last and only relationship i had lasted for 2 years and 5 months or so.the reason for the breakup?well,lets just say its all my fault.

i was the one who broke up with my girl.the relationship was wonderful.for the 2 years i was with her i was very much happy.she was everythin that i long for,wanted for.someone who's simple,sweet,loving,caring and all the qualities that a guy would ever look for in a girl.but why did i broke up with her if there's nothing wrong?yeah.there's nothing wrong with us but there is something wrong with me.

there was so much goin on in my head.i had responsibilities to my family,my studies and to her.i was doin my responsibilities as a son and a student but to her i aint a good boyfriend.but it was only during the later part of the relationship,most of the times i wasnt there for her.thats when i decided that its time to end it all up.the relationship was no longer working out so why still stay?you'll just hurt each other more as the day passes by.it wasnt just something that i taught of overnight.it took me days.

(i just also like to say that i didnt cheat on her.i didnt broke up with her becoz of someone else.i had always been faithful to her.i broke up coz i didnt want it to go to a point that ill be cheatin up on her.it just aint me.i had this belief in life that: i dont want to cheat up on someone coz i,myself dont want to get cheated.)

worst part..i broke up through text.damn!i didnt have time to say it to her personally.reason?my schedule at school.i just didnt have time.she goes to school and so do i.i can no longer remember the complete details coz it happened a year ago.(it really sucks coz i do have a poor memory)since then,i havent seen her personally up to this point.

bottomline,the reason why i answered my professor in such a way because indeed it's ok lang.i didnt say it in a way that its something that you had which you got tired of and you'd like to dispose of easily.it aint that way.its a painful experience which everyone goes to.but its ok lang coz there's such a thing as moving on.

life doesnt end there.even though its painful, you gotta go through it.may be its just that we're not really meant to be.or may be not now but may be in the future but who knows?only god does.im just lookin forward whatever he has in store for me.

if ever she'll be able to read this,i hope she wont get mad at me..again.i just thought of sharing this with all of you coz the question my professor gave me was a real surprise.i didnt knew what to say and the answer just came out of my mind without even thinking about it.may be this is just a way of justifying my answer.to her,sorry,if ever i shared my part of the story with everyone else in this blog.i know we already talked about this so i just hope that you understand.

anyways,she was also the one who suggested that i write in minimal pharagraphs so it'll be much more nice to look at.thanks!

THANKS.

thrzzzzz.
id also like to thank thrzzzzz,for emailing me back.i'll email you soon as soon as my computer gets to work properly.when i browse yahoo,the page always doesnt seem to respond everytime i try to write an email.i have a few questions which im pretty sure you'll be able to have an answer for.thanks a lot for offering your help and for always visiting my blog!i really appreciate it!take care!

aika.
also,id like to thank aika.i hope i mentioned it correctly.she was the new visitor to my blog!im happy that people are starting to visit my blog!

sir chuck.
sir chuck,thanks for visiting the blog.i really thought that your blog was mam jen's coz she was the one who told me about the blog.anyways,i'll correct the link right away.

well,this has been another lenghty post.i have said all the things i wanted to so i think its just proper that i end this and i shut up!until next time everyone!i'd be happy to read all of your comments so please feel free to leave one.if ever you dont have an account here at blogspot please post anonymously but please state your name.im still working out the comment provider so please bear with me.thanks!

I sent an S.O.S tonight